you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
