Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
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And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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