So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize