I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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