Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize