fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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