I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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