i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
