I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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