mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
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I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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