Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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