just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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