Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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