I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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