i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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