We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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