haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
