Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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