Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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