I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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