the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
