I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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