I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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