Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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