He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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