and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Alive.
So much puke
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize