I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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