if i can run in heels then i can drive
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
