R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
