so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
