cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
