dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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