the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize