They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
