i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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