like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
