It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
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we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
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I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm both gender and math confused
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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