as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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