It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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