we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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