she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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