So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
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We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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