gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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