For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
