i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
