I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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