there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
