the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
