If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
