Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
