i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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