It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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