he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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