I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
