i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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