If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
