At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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